she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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