turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
