I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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