Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
