i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
