i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
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