i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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