Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
