Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
