She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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