I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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