Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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