i just google imaged poop.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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