i permit you to call me
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
