It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
