he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
