she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
