I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
