Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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