I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
