my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
