"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
