So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
