he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
