It's Friday. Sex?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
