She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
