i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
