Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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