Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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