careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize