My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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