I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
