apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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