what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
