'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
