Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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