Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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