what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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