carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
