dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
