Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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