My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
