I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
