Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
