I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
