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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
