The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
