feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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