do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
