Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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