Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
