stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
