Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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