Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
