if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
