the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
whose ass print is on the piano?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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