She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My bed smells like the plague
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
