THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
