I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
