The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
