just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
