I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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