you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
