i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
