Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
