Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
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