Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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