she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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